14 FEBRUARI 2011 .... Thanks GOD

Today is my Birthday .. people semetimes see this as special day.. coz u was born in Valentine day.. But for me .. There's nothing special about it.. at least for 25 years old ... nothing special.

i was ordinary girl same like the other teenagers who loves to celebrate birthday, get gifts , wishes, surrounded by someone special. well, But i never get those things. i never celebrate birthday or get gifts.. FLAT !! ha ha

the saddest thing was hmm probably my 17th Birthday.. i was celebrate my BD alone inside of my room with candles and donuts and heart ice cream. sooooooo sad hahahahaha..

Tonight 00.00 14 Februari 2011 .. getting older huh..

I just want to be happy .. i need to be more positive and Wiser... more adult and i want to be more patience and less sensitive. Try to Smile wider and Less pretending ( pretend to be smile outside but cry inside ) .. i want to be more open minded .. and i could open my heart to people.. less Ignorant.. I want to be loved.. i want to be someone's special... i pretend to be stronger but still i'm weak.. ah and be healthier person..

i always hope that there is something different between last BD and this year BD ... so what is the diff???

hmmmmmmm NOTHING ..
well i feel weaker, my healthy is shit...
well i have unclear position in my office..
well i have CRAZY STRANGE PATHETIC feelings to this 'strange unique weird crazy guy'
well i still THANKS to YOU GOD for giving me life till now..

LOVE U GOD ... Hopefully i could be closer and fix everything in the future.
LOVE U MOM ... wish u were here Mommy ..
LOVE U my Unique love... will always do even u dont love me like i love u ..


Last but not least

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME ..
Wish i could be happier <3

`Zie`