Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I will cross
Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse
I just got lost
Every river that I've tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...
You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one
And you'll be lost
Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the firing stops
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
I found this Picture... credit to whoever that posted this on tumblr. I love the words on it.. This is what i'm feeling right now.
"ITS HARD TO WAIT AROUND FOR SOMETHING THAT YOU KNOW MIGHT NEVER HAPPEN.. BUT ITS HARDER TO LET IT GO... WHEN ITS THE ONLY THING YOU WANT "
Its hard for me to think about the future. I'm really scared .. i dont know how to face it... I wanna be with you but your thoughts, ur principles, all are different to mine. to my environtment... sometimes i wish i could runaway to you and do everything i want without thinking about my family etc.
it makes me Depressed, Lost ...
Today is my Birthday .. people semetimes see this as special day.. coz u was born in Valentine day.. But for me .. There's nothing special about it.. at least for 25 years old ... nothing special.
i was ordinary girl same like the other teenagers who loves to celebrate birthday, get gifts , wishes, surrounded by someone special. well, But i never get those things. i never celebrate birthday or get gifts.. FLAT !! ha ha
the saddest thing was hmm probably my 17th Birthday.. i was celebrate my BD alone inside of my room with candles and donuts and heart ice cream. sooooooo sad hahahahaha..
Tonight 00.00 14 Februari 2011 .. getting older huh..
I just want to be happy .. i need to be more positive and Wiser... more adult and i want to be more patience and less sensitive. Try to Smile wider and Less pretending ( pretend to be smile outside but cry inside ) .. i want to be more open minded .. and i could open my heart to people.. less Ignorant.. I want to be loved.. i want to be someone's special... i pretend to be stronger but still i'm weak.. ah and be healthier person..
i always hope that there is something different between last BD and this year BD ... so what is the diff???
hmmmmmmm NOTHING ..
well i feel weaker, my healthy is shit...
well i have unclear position in my office..
well i have CRAZY STRANGE PATHETIC feelings to this 'strange unique weird crazy guy'
well i still THANKS to YOU GOD for giving me life till now..
LOVE U GOD ... Hopefully i could be closer and fix everything in the future.
LOVE U MOM ... wish u were here Mommy ..
LOVE U my Unique love... will always do even u dont love me like i love u ..
Last but not least
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME ..
Wish i could be happier <3
`Zie`
Besok adalah tanggal 14 Februari 2011. Ada Apa di tanggal itu?? its Valentine's day Zie.. hari ini gw hang out ke Mall di kota gw. dan sudah gw duga sebelumnya kalo di semua sudut toko2 pasti udah berubah warna jadi PINK.. malah ada satu stand khusus buat kalian yang mau beli special Valentine gift for ur lover. dari mulai coklat sampe bunga mawar.. ewwwwww well i'm not romantic person so it was a bit awkward to saw lots of things like that.
Dan lagi gw ga pernah ngerayain Valentine, selain emang selalu sial krn gw selalu ga pernah lagi punya pacar kalo pas Valentine hahahaha and emang ya itu tadi gw bukan termasuk orang yang romantis dan peduli dengan hal2 seperti itu. Tapi ada moment Valentine yang ga pernah gw lupa.. gw pernah dapet coklat dari cowo yang gw suka sekitar 2 tahun yang lalu.. sweet banget dah walopun kita ga sempet jadian setelah itu.. ;(
Penting ga sih ngerayain Valentine??? gw punya pendapat pribadi tentang hal ini dan gw yakin banyak juga yang berpendapat sama .. kalo memang moment valentine katanya dibilang hari kasih sayang, hari dimana seseorang mengutarakan perasaan cinta nya , hari dimana diisi dengan penuh cinta baik itu ke Pacar, keluarga, teman dll. buat gw.. ga harus selalu di hari valentine.. it could be valentine everyday.. dan buat kaum Muslim, its not Important .. bahkan di budaya kita ga ada valentine2an.
tapi yang buat sekedar Fun... well its up to you guys... :)
Tahun ini sehari setelah hari valentine, di tanggal 15 Februari 2011 kaum muslim bakal merayakan hari kelahiran NABI BESAR MUHAMMAD SAW.. karena hal inilah banyak yang menanyakan .. lu mau ngerayain valentine atau Maulud Nabi ?? well, ini sebenranya hak setiap orang .. untuk kaum muslim tentu aja lebih baik dan afdol untuk merayakan Maulud Nabi.. yang Non Islam tentu ga bakal mauludan donk...
Di twitter pun semept nongol di trending topic tentang ini.. dan once again its up to u guys.. for muslim.. lets Mauludan di Mesjid masing2 ..
InsyaAllah sebagai muslim gw juga mau muludan aja dah ... oke cuy :)
`Zie~
